Compromise in Marriage -The Healthy and Unhealthy Side

Selfneglect.blogspot.com

It is public knowledge that marriage isn't a fun game. Neither is it a bed of roses. In fact marriage is the only institution you enroll into without a graduation date in sight.

Many believe that a key factor to building a successful marriage is compromise.

Compromise means a settlement of differences in which each side makes concessions; the result of such settlement.

However a more working definition of compromise in real life, real time marriage will be  'a settlement of differences in which one side gives in'.

While Dr. Corey Marriage therapist argues that compromise in marriage may be unhealthy, in that each party goes away equally  unhappy, a whole lot more other marriage experts believe that Compromise is a needed ingredient in a successful marriage.

Picture you and your spouse arriving at a deadlock in your choice of what color to paint your sitting room for instance, your husband has countless points to support why it should be green and you the wife has a million other reasons why it should be multicolored. Without, the two of you coming to an agreement ( a compromise) where one person will agree to the reasons proffered by the other even though if they had a choice they will remain resolute, the sitting room will not only remain unpainted but the two of you may end up not on talking terms for sometime, depending on how well you understand each other.

Since, it has been established that no marriage no matter how happy, is devoid of arguments and disagreements ( in facts, healthy arguments are needed in any relationship  because it allows you to voice your opinion while giving you  a sense of belonging and importance), Braniac in How to compromise in marriage gives these three simple but effective steps to compromise.

1.   During an arguement, it is hard to keep an open mind. Try not to yell, but talk in a normal voice. It is easier to keep yourself calm and not say things that you don't want to regret later.

2. Discuss your differences and if there is still no result, agree to disagree ( Compromise). Doing this is perfectly normal. You don't have to have all the same opinions as your spouse to be able to get along.

3. After an arguement, make plans together on what each of you can do to avoid the same issue again. Ask what each of you can do to improve your current relationship, and also use the time to discuss any other issues that you may be having.

I am going to add a fourth one;

4. Ensure you make a joke out of the situation afterwards, to avoid feeling hemmed in and  unhappy .