So guys first let me apologise for MIA. I have been very busy and mostly in transit which explains why I haven't blogged for a while, not making excuses just saying I am sorry for denying you your favourite posts*wink*
So how do you say that eight lettered, three worded sentence that we so desperately want to hear but mostly unwilling to say?
A lot has been said about the magical word "sorry" but I am looking at the perfect situation where the word is prefixed with "I am"
It is a given that every relationship has its moments, some filled with love some with hurt. If the relationship is marriage, these type of days may even tilt more to the latter side. But, no matter how many of such 'hurt days' you experience, how it is handled will eventually tell on your relationship.
Contrary to what many believe (especially women) the person who always takes the initiative to say " I am sorry' is not the weaker one. This is because it takes strength and maturity to know that YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE RIGHT TO SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP, YOU ONLY HAVE TO BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. Just ask yourself, would I rather lead a peaceful life with just a few sincere words or assert my right and slug it out? If your answer is anywhere near the former, then be true to yourself and work out your relationship. It may not be easy at first especially if you are going to be the one always apologising but believe me you may not do it for long because these things are reciprocal. In the end you would have taught your spouse, the art of reconciliation.
Having said that, lets look at some tips of a sincere apology.
1. Accept responsibility- If you would be the one to apologise, you must accept some sort of responsibility. Not necessarily that you are the one in the wrong but that you somehow contributed to it.
2. Learn to let go- Because most times you may be the one actually hurting, you must learn to heal your hurt and forgive yourself even as you are forgiving your spouse.
3. No buts, No excuses- If you have decided to apologise, excuses are a sure way of ruining your end goal. Say you are sorry and mean it.
4. Try physical contact- To make an even more lasting impact, try touching or hugging your spouse/partner while apologising. Its a sure way of bridging gaps and mending walls.
5. Go a little further- Just saying I am sorry may not always be enough. Let your spouse know that you do realise how you may have hurt them and that you neither intended it nor are you intending to do it again.
6. Make fun rules- If you have a young marriage, this one is your take because you will have lots of such days when these rules come in handy. Good thing is, it's fun and handy. Your fun rules may include; a) If we are quarrelling and we kiss its over, b) If any of us use our pet names, it's over , c) Every misunderstanding ends at 12 am or whatever time that makes sense to you., etc.
I(we) personally have some but yea I am hoarding, Lol. Needless to say, I find them very useful and sincerely hope you will find this post helpful as well and if you need a little nudge to take the blame and have the bliss you desire, here it is. Go ahead and say it, "I am sorry"!
